You know, keeping a secret from someone that you’ve fucked over behind their back is worse than the actual deed, isn’t it? Fucking someone over is bad, but it’s a mistake, a moment of weakness. However, keeping that a secret from someone for months or years is unforgivable and it really shows how little the friendship meant. At first I was angry, but now I’m just fascinated by how she let me think I was a bad person for even a second when she was keeping such a huge secret.
Do you love yourself?
On the one hand, yes, I do. I love how much I’ve grown over the past few months and years, and I feel like I have a fairer perspective on things and I like what makes me up and stuff like that. I don’t love the outside of me though, and I think that holds me back a hell of a lot. But that’s something I continue to work on every day
if you want a nice body, go get it. if you want to become a lawyer, study your ass off. if you want nice hair, pick a style and get it done. stop being afraid and motivate yourself. find yourself. find your happiness, because it’s out there waiting for you.
I’m fighting for the best version of myself. What I’m finding frustrating and that technically, achieving the things I want are easy and straight forward. I could slim down in four or five months, be focused on working hard and playing hard, y’know.
But I get in the way of myself all the time and I let other things get in the way and I want to find out how to stop these things getting in the way. And I look back on the past few weeks and I can’t remember what things got in the way. I remember excuses but not really any reasons. I don’t know why the concept of being the best version of myself isn’t enough motivation.
ALSO I can’t get an upgrade on my phone until the end of the month ew